Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dispatches from somewhere in North America II

Day 3: August 12

The highlight of the first part of the day is the shower. I quite enjoy showers at the best of times, when they’re more creature comfort than adventure, but one of the highlights of the Copper King is the weirdest contraption that has ever sprayed water on me. A great skeleton of piping, it has three valves that regulate pressure at various points of the shower. The pipes that surround the showerer are also filled with little pin pricks that spray water (the Copper King’s proprietor warned that if you turned the valves such that all of the water came out of the pin pricks instead of the shower head, it would hurt a great deal and you therefore shouldn’t do it; he was overstating it somewhat). Following the shower and the included breakfast, we took a tour of the Copper King. Our guide was a woman in her twenties who apparently delivered the tour by rote memorization, as evidenced both by her high rate of speech, her total lack of inflection and by her need for cue cards once she forgot the words.

The only sight we specifically wanted to see in Butte was the local brothel, which had been continuously operational until 1982 when the Madam was sent to prison – for tax evasion (the brothel holds some kind of world record on which I’m not quite clear; I believe it’s something like “oldest surviving building originally constructed for use as a brothel”). Entrance to the brothel was free, and we were greeted by a jumble of artifacts including, most notably, an old school and decidedly unerotic-looking vibrator. It’s moderately-interesting, but as long as we’re there we figure we might as well take the tour for a few dollars. We hand our money to the moustached man surveying our move, and ask him when the next tour is. “Right now,” he replies, grabbing a flashlight.

It turns out this man is Rudy, who is the current owner of the brothel, which he bought after co-leading a movement to save it when it was slated for destruction in the early nineties. This got him a fair bit of media coverage, including an appearance on Jay Leno’s Headlines feature, which features unintentionally humourous headlines, advertisements, and the like. Rudy’s appearance was when the Butte paper ran a feature on the efforts to save the brothel, highlighting the efforts of a former prostitute at the brothel. Under the headline, which was something like “Former call-girl fights to save brothel”, was a picture of Rudy lounging on a bed with eyes that, deliberately or not, look like they’re inviting the viewer to come hither.

The tour itself is fascinating. Because Rudy has evidently not yet succeeded in securing serious government or other funding to restore the building to its former glory, it looks basically like it did when he acquired the building, just a little cleaned up. The artifacts in the front room are just things he found in the basement, which hadn’t been used for the last years of the brothel’s operation. He’s opened up a room that had been boarded over in the sixties, with a lipsticked cigarette still sitting in the ash tray. The tour was so good, in fact, that it made me question the benefit of restoring some historical buildings. For the rooms that did have to be cleaned up a bit, the last madam – the one imprisoned for tax evasion – was helpful in advising. She’s still alive, but doesn’t come around much anymore due to a recent stroke. I ask Rudy whether the Pekin was originally used as a brothel, but he responds emphatically in the negative. Pity.

Inexplicably, we decided to eat lunch at another place recommended by the fellow from the Copper King. This one was a mesquite barbecue place and, in contrast to the Pekin, was delicious. I guess the lesson is that you don’t go for Italian food in Bangkok, and you don’t go for Chinese food in Montana.

We want to get to Yellowstone for the night, but we figure that we can afford some more time in Butte, for which we’ve both developed a great affection. The historical district, where we’re staying, is reputed to have some great antique shops, so we decide to check those out. Catrin pays more attention in these stores than I do, but I note with interest a petition in a store run by two delightful old ladies opposing setting more Montana land aside as wilderness (it complains of a plan initiated by environmental groups and out of state logging companies that is now receiving consideration by Congress). What surprises me is that the petition, in its lengthy preamble, does not attempt to explain what harm the bill would do, satisfying itself with asserting that “we don’t need more wilderness”. As with Albertans, I have some trouble with the contrast between Montanans’ great friendliness and their frequently apparently evil political views.

It is regrettably time to leave Butte, which is, I’m happy to report, more beaut than butt. As we drive out, we see what appears to be a giant statue of the Virgin Mary on the surrounding hillside. This town does not cease to surprise.

Not far outside of Butte, we cross the continental divide. I briefly wonder whether a trip from Edmonton to Fredericton should include passage over the continental divide, but the scenery is beautiful and I put the thought out of my mind. On the trip south, we allegedly pass through a number of small Montana towns, but I’m noticing that it’s sort of difficult to evaluate on the basis of population density alone what constitutes a town in Montana, which seems to enjoy an evenly-distributed, if sparse, population. We also get lost for the first time and, despite my assurances that I know exactly where we are (Montana), I eventually agree to pull into the nearest city to orient ourselves and buy lunch. This turns out to be Bozeman, where we pick up some groceries (including an embarrassing attempt by Catrin to buy “a hundred grams” of smoked turkey breast) and eat them for lunch in the supermarket parking lot. I have eaten some of my favourite meals in supermarket parking lots.

The original plan was to camp in Yellowstone, but Catrin’s fear of bears has not abated (especially since, in contrast to Jasper which has never experienced a bear-related human fatality, five people have been killed by bears in Yellowstone). She generously offers to sleep in the car again, but I’m pretty sure taking her up on this would make me somehow unchivalrous, so we drive to West Yellowstone, just outside the park gate, and look for a room. Despite it being midweek, most places are full, but we eventually find a cabin and RV park that advertises vacancy. I hope that these vacancies are for the cabin and not the RV park. I go to the office to check, but it is locked. As I am looking for another entrance, a dreadlocked tornado emerges from the locked door and invites me in.

“Sorry,” apologizes the tornado, who introduces herself as the park’s owner, “I lock the door whenever I’m not in the front part of the office. I really should put a sign up. I use a lot of signs. See?” She presents me with a handful of ballpoint on looseleaf signs proclaiming things like “Still asleep – ring bell” and “Back in five minutes”. It emerges that the advertised vacancy exists in both sections of her park – “If it was only for RVs, I’d have put up this sign,” she explains, holding up one that reads “Cabins full”. She then proceeds to identify me as a Canadian based on my accent, and explain, unsolicited, that she lives in West Yellowstone because of the snowboarding. I am glad to escape her one-sided conversation and get to the cabin, which is essentially a separated motel room (fortunately, it is priced accordingly).

Soundtrack:

Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me, Various (spoken word comedy)
Neil Young Unplugged, Neil Young
Has Been, William Shatner

Day 4: August 13

We know we are underappreciating Yellowstone when we start booing the elk. I feel a little bad about this, since it’s not their fault that they’re elk, but there really comes a point at which you have to put your foot down. We’d be driving through the park and we’d see a grouping of cars pulled over with people with cameras and binoculars looking excitedly at something, and we’d wonder whether it was a grizzly, or even a wolf (which I’ve never seen, though one of the bikers we stayed with at the Copper King said he’d seen one in Yellowstone earlier in the week) and it would just be another damned elk. I really do hate to be a patronizing homer, but visitors to Jasper, even the Japanese tourists, are much more discriminating about what they point excitedly at.

Truth be told, Yellowstone’s a bit of a disappointment. This might be because it couldn’t possibly live up to its advance billing, or it could be because our schedule didn’t allow us to backpack or do any of the other activities that might have allowed us to more fully appreciate the place, but I think that maybe it’s just because Yellowstone is overrated. As noted above, it fell short of its reputation as a hotspot for wildlife viewing (though we did eventually get a good look at a bald eagle, and I also got the closest I’ve ever been to a moose – maybe those of us who grew up near the Rockies have just been spoiled in this regard), and, if we were to rank parks in terms of beauty and majesty, Yellowstone would be well back of both Glacier and Jasper.

What it does have going for it is geothermal activity, and walking amongst the assorted geysers and boiling pools and bubbling mud pits is, in my view, the only reason for anybody with access to other national parks to bother with Yellowstone. One of the interpretive centres we saw included quotes from early explorers about the wonderful nature of the area and about how it needed to be preserved. Somehow, though, I have trouble imagining that this was the early explorers’ dominant reaction. Surely to them the blighted landscape, smell of sulphur, and emerging boiling water must have made the place look like a gate to hell (one child we saw, talking aloud in a world of his own as children sometimes do, offered a pretty nice description of one of the areas as a “crazy alien mud planet”). Towards the end of the day, we also watch an eruption of Old Faithful, which is a pretty powerful display of Earth’s power, even though the eruption we saw was apparently a relatively small one. Sitting around with hundreds of other tourists watching steam emerge from a big hole in the ground until, surprisingly suddenly, water starts spewing out dozens of feet in the air is a surreal experience.

We spend the night at a motel in Gardner, Montana, at the north end of the park. We sleep unmolested by bears.

Soundtrack:

  • Mix CD made for Catrin by a friend of hers after she broke up with her last boyfriend, Various
  • Real Live, Bob Dylan
  • XXX, Alice Cooper
  • Victory Day, Tom Cochrane and Red Rider
  • XXX, Joan Jett
  • Hit Parade, Spirit of the West

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Dispatches from somewhere in North America I

As some of you may not know, I'm moving to Fredericton effective September 1, and am taking the scenic route. I intend to chronicle this trip as much as possible on my blog, but time and limited internet access may interfere. Here's the first of what I hope will be quite a few installments.


Day 1: August 10

Arguably August 10 is not day 1, since we left Edmonton on August 9, but we spent our first night at friends’ in Calgary, so it felt more like visiting them than it did like starting out on a three week trip across North America, so I’m going to stand by August 10 being the first real day. We started off with a hearty – in the sense of “swimming in grease” – brunch with a few friends, and then set off to the south. After picking up groceries in High River (“home of the Right Honourable Charles Joseph Clark!” I inform an uninterested Catrin), we make a brief stop at Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump, and then set a course for the border. As we approach Cardston, our right window shows fields of wheat against a backdrop of mountains. “Okay,” says Catrin, “where are the cowboys?” “To hell with the cowboys,” I reply, “where’s the cross of St. George?”

The original plan is to stay in Waterton Lakes National Park and then cross the border to Glacier National Park early the next day. However, we want to drive the Going to the Sun Road in Glacier, and it apparently gets pretty busy, so one of our guidebooks advises us to hit it as early in the morning as we can. Since we have no idea who long crossing the border will take (we’re slightly concerned that the presence of most of our worldly possessions in our car will make it look like we’re planning to stay in the U.S. for good), we decide to get it out of the way tonight. After a mercifully complication-free crossing, we enter Montana, stopping for the night at a campground near St. Mary, just outside the park boundary.

The campground we choose is called Koa Kampground Kabins, though it offers tent sites as well. As I register, I ask the fellow at the desk – a very friendly man, which will fast become a theme in Montana – if the KKK thing raises many eyebrows. “Not that I’m aware of,” he answers, “you’re the first one to mention it, at any rate.” My eyebrows are decidedly raised, but the place seems nice enough, and offers an all you can eat pancake breakfast for four dollars, so we stay. It has a hot tub to, in which I partake despite my reservations that this doesn’t really qualify as camping.

Later that night, as we lie in our tent, Catrin begins to worry about bears again (she and bears have something of a history since she met one twenty minutes into a backpacking trip on to which I lured her by assuring her that I’d never seen a bear while backpacking). She eventually decides that she wants to sleep in the car, to which I assent with something slightly short of good humour, helping her move her sleeping bag. I should mention here that northern Montana, being directly adjacent to southern Alberta, is really freaking windy, so standing outside in my underwear helping her put her sleeping bag into the car (and to rearrange the car’s contents sufficiently to allow her to recline her seat) isn’t my idea of a good time, and I get back into the tent as soon as possible.

Soundtrack:

  • Tom Cochrane and Red Rider, Tom Cochrane and Red Rider
  • Harvest Moon, Neil Young
  • Hearts and Bones, Paul Simon
  • Traveling Wilburys Volume 1, The Traveling Wilburys
  • The Paul Simon Songbook, Paul Simon
  • Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Simon & Garfunkel
  • Broken Arrow, Neil Young and Crazy Horse
  • Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me, Various (spoken word comedy)

Day 2: August 11

Glacier National Park is beautiful (this will actually also be a recurring theme about Montana). I’m not ready to give it the win over my beloved Jasper, but it’s like a lusher, more deciduous version of Alberta’s mountain parks. Its designers also showed a little more aesthetic sense when it came to laying down roads, so the drive through the park is truly spectacular. And yet, despite the place’s otherworldly beauty, most people there seem, like us, to be only passing through. We camped next to a group of cyclists going from New Hampshire to Vancouver (they’ve been on the road for six weeks, and expect to be for another two), and during the pancake breakfast (Catrin declines to partake, for some reason) I meet a couple of bikers from Minneapolis who are taking their Harley up to Banff. They’ve visited there before; in fact, several years previously they’d taken their kids through most of western Canada, including a pile of national parks. Their eight year old daughter’s favourite part of the trip was West Edmonton Mall; I die a little inside. We meet a lot of (motor) bikers, actually; I’m at loss for hypotheses as to why this may be.

True to Montana’s libertarian bent (we see three Ron Paul signs while we’re in the state, compared to one for Obama and none for McCain), quite a few of these bikers don’t wear helmets, which strikes me as profoundly dumb (though one such biker, himself from Idaho, tells me that wearing a helmet while riding on the highway is nothing more than the difference between an open casket and a closed one). Hang around in Montana for long enough, though, and the libertarianism starts to make some sense; everything’s so perfect there already that it does seem that government couldn’t do anything but screw things up. The highways, though, offer a reminder of the price of this pigheaded independence: there are fatality markers wherever somebody died in a car accident on one of them, and there are a terrifying number. I can’t help but to think that a lot of them were unhelmeted bikers; probably a few more were motorists refusing to wear seatbelts, which are technically mandatory.

Besides the natural beauty and the fatality markers, there are a few more things you notice when driving around Montana. First of all, drivers there have an unnerving (to me, at least) tendency to yield to you when they’re oncoming and you’re trying to make a left turn. That’s the friendliness at work again, I guess, but I’d rather have the certainty of needing to wait for a break in traffic. As well, Montana businesses have a strange habit of replacing the letter C in their business names with either a K or an S, as the situation demands (only a few examples we noticed: Kleaners, Kars, Senter). Could be some kind of bold libertarian thing, I guess.

After a brief picnic stop at the pristine Swan Lake (this lake is not unique: we passed enough of them that Catrin was reminded of the part of Forrest Gump when the title character says “So I went to the White House, again, and met the President of the United States, again”) Catrin needs a bathroom break. Since we’ll probably have to justify it with a purchase of some kind, we hunt for a cafĂ© where she can get a coffee. In Drummond, we find the Bull’s End, and decide it’s worth a shot. We walk through the doors and into a stereotype. There are three customers, all of them sitting on stools at the counter: one obese woman in her sixties doing a sodoku, and two old guys in white T-shirts and suspenders saying things like “No doubt about it”. It’s around four in the afternoon by this point, and you get the impression that all three of those customers have been in there for most of the day. After looking at the menu (the “Chef salad” consisted of ham, turkey, two kinds of cheese, tomato, and egg), Catrin gets her coffee and I get a bowl of beef noodle soup. Both are about what you’d expect, but cheaper; in keeping with the time warped feel of the place, the coffee costs seventy-five cents (though Catrin had to order a glass of milk too, since they only had cream). As we walk in, Ellen is playing on the TV; despite the state’s conservatism, time and network television wait for no man.

During a commercial break, some sort of an advocacy commercial comes on:
Talk to your children about sex,” is advises. I’m a little surprised that this is a message that is getting play in Montana, until the next line is “tell them you want them to wait until they’re married.” This is more what I was expecting. What I was not expecting was the end of the commercial, when the viewer’s attention was directed to a website for more information. It had a .gov domain name.

The day’s destination is Butte, about which I know very little besides that its name can be mispronounced in a childishly amusing manner (Catrin never grows tired of this). It turns out it’s a charming town, smaller than I expected, with a pretty nice core of nineteenth century buildings, harkening back its history as a prosperous mining town. The mine’s still there, re-opened recently as a result of rising commodity prices, but the prosperity has gone into hiding. The streets are empty – we see two dogs before seeing any people on them – and it only gets more dire from there. High on the list of business items in finding a laundromat (while we’ve only been on the road for two days, we haven’t had a chance to wash the clothes we were wearing in the days before our departure), which we do without too much difficulty. This is a typical sized laundromat, I’d say – probably twenty washing machines, and half as many dryers – but well over half of the machines are out of order. Which isn’t really a problem, since we’re the only customers in the place. The walls are covered with photographic portraits of cowboyish or just plain hickish looking men, which I’m informed are the result of the previous owner’s hobby for amateur photography. The current owner is a reserved older guy named Michael. One gets the sense that he will be the last. Butte’s every bit as much of a time warp as the Bull’s End. Its remaining residents are struggling to avoid becoming a ghost town, but not struggling too hard. It occurs to me that as much as it harkens back to a more glorious era, it could also be seen as a glimpse into the future – Alberta after the oil runs out.

We’re staying in the Copper King Mansion, built by William Andrews Clark in the late nineteenth century and more recently used as a bed and breakfast. Clark was a Butte copper baron (hence the name of the building) and later a U.S. senator. It’s a spectacular building, richly deserving of the title of “mansion” even in an era in which the word is held to a higher standard than it was a hundred years ago, and it’s easy to forget Butte’s apparently grim present while in it. John, who owns the mansion with his sister (they inherited it from their mother, who bought it from the Catholic church, who bought it from Clark’s son) recommends a few dinner places, and we choose the Pekin, a local Chinese restaurant owned by the same Chinese immigrant family for the last eighty years.

On the way there, we stop by the laundromat to put our clothes in one of the three dryers marked as “good”. It turns out to be mislabeled (at least, I’d say so, on the basis that it doesn’t work – Michael disagrees, assuring me that it is a good dryer: “it makes me money”). When we share our dinner plans, Michael frowns. The Pekin is “pretty boring,” he warns us, “nobody in this town has much taste.” We take his suggestion of a 24 hour greasy spoon under advisement, but ultimately opt to stick with the Pekin on the basis of the promised atmosphere.

The Pekin does deliver a unique atmosphere. All the tables seat four, and each is located in its own salmon-coloured, curtained booth (I hypothesize that the restaurant used to serve as a brothel). A glass of the premium wine goes for $2.75, fifty cents more than the house stuff. As for the food, if I had to describe it in three words those words would be “really fucking awful”. Catrin barely touches hers, though I finish mine on principle alone.

Since we still have time and hunger, we decide to check out Michael’s recommended greasy spoon (hey, his recommendation about the Pekin was pretty solid). We sit at the bar, where we enjoy our conversation with the bartender. He’s probably about our age, smaller than me, with more facial hair and fewer teeth. He’s friendly, though, and shares with us a variety of local lore (turns out Even Knievel was from Butte, and there’s an annual festival honouring him). He also shares a bit of his personal history; he’s trying to escape Butte, and worked across the U.S. for a pipeline company for a while. He can’t go back to that kind of work, though. Why not? “I got shot.” Um, any context to that? “It was over a girl.” Right here in Butte? “Yeah. He got me four times, in the arm and the ankle. He was a lousy shot.”

The greasy spoon itself, the M&M, has something of a history – the bartender says it’s been visited by 22 American presidents. I try to calculate how far back this would take it, but only get to thirteen before I forget who preceded Herbert Hoover. In any event, 22 sounds unlikely. “How long has it been around?” I ask. “Since 1819,” he replies. 22 begins to sound less unlikely a figure. Today, the M&M is decked out with a lot of Barack Obama gear. This seems odd to me, since I know Montana’s a red state, and the M&M doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of place that bucks the trend. “Is this a Democratic bar?” I ask, gesturing at the Obama paraphernalia. “No, it’s just that Obama visited us a couple of times during the primary season.” Indeed, there’s a picture on the wall of Obama sitting at this very bar that I’d have noticed if I was more observant. 22 is sounding more plausible all the time. “Do you think Obama has a chance of winning Montana?” I ask. “Oh, he’s got Montana. Butte, Montana – “ Butte’s residents seem to prefer to include the state’s name when mentioning their town, presumably to distinguish it from smaller communities in Alaska and Nebraska “ – isn’t a Democratic town at all, but everyone I talk to is voting Obama.” This strikes me as unlikely, since the polls are showing that this is a close race, and a race in which the Democrat wins Montana is, almost by definition, not a close race. Still, it will be interesting to watch.

Soundtrack:

  • Beautiful Freak, The Eels
  • Left and Leaving, The weakerthans
  • mix CD made for Catrin by a friend, The weakerthans
  • Pinkerton, Weezer
  • Mirrorball, Neil Young (with Pearl Jam)
  • The Millennium Collection, Aerosmith
  • Hawks and Doves, Neil Young
  • Graceland, Paul Simon
  • Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me, Various (spoken word comedy)

In other words, Part II

I received a fortune in a terrible Chinese restaurant - more on that next post - that read "You will inherit money or a small piece of land." In other words, one of my family members is going to die.